Michael cannot believe that he is being charged for menacing. All he was trying to do was to make sure his neighbor’s are safe. So what he was caught looking into this neighbor’s 9-year-old son’s bedroom window at 1:20 am. He was just making sure that little Jimmy was all tucked in safe and sound. Instead of being arrested, he should be make the president of the Neighbors watch association. He LOVES his neighbors and doesn’t mind staying up all hours of the night keeping an eye on them.
Michael's mail lady treated him just like anybody else who gets a pair of Groucho glasses and doesn't realize it's really not funny. Everyday she would run her mail route and Michael would be waiting for her by his mailbox. When she would pull up he would take a bite out of a pickle then say "Now that's the best tasting pickle I ever heard", she would pretend to chuckle, hand him his mail, and be on her merry way. One day Michael offered her a pickle, she said she'd love one, but what Michael pulled out of his pants wasn't a pickle, as she struggled to get her phone out of her purse to call 911 Michael left her with a memorable parting line "in the 69 my Humpty Nose will tickle your rear"... Next time he'll know to stand by someone else's mailbox...
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
Don't lie, we know you were doin' the Humpty Dance too!