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Suzanne Rutherford was charged with Possession of Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, Alprazolam, and Cocaine in Pasco county
John Tiara was charged with Contempt of Court in Hernando county
Chris Taft was charged with Petit Theft in Pasco county
John tried to convince the judge that he wasn’t whistling in court. All he was doing was breathing and when his breath passed through that gaping hole between his two front teeth, it just makes a whistling sound.
Chris thought up the perfect plan, look like a cop, and nobody would even question him for walking into the sheriff's department, grabbing a couple donuts, then walking right out.
Cop Haircut - Check
Cop Mustache - Check
I Hate Cops t-shirt - D'OH!
What no crack??? I could have swore she was a crack-head!
John "Lucky" Tiara may look familiar to you, the character Lucky from King of the Hill was based on him.
In the show Lucky slipped on pee-pee in the Mega Low Mart who settled out of court for $53,000. In real life Lucky was drunk on PBR and pissed himself in the sporting goods section of Walmart. His lawsuit was thrown out when the judge heard his "if you slip in your own piss, you must dismiss" argument, which actually supported the defense.
I could use an aspirin or two after looking at this chick's face myself!
Jackoffasaurus
$53,000 for slippin on some pee-pee... He'll never have to werk again!... Lucky son bitch!
THENEWGUY
Wow, now I know why Chris wanted to look like a cop, look at how cool this shit looks.
Give her time, she'll be hittin that rock.
THENEWGUY
Who hasn't pissed themselves in Walmart? That's the highlight of our weekends here in Iowa.
JIMBOJOHNSON
It looks like the deputy gave Chris a pooh mustache!
PISS OFF
With that laundry list it's amazing she gets out of bed in the morning.
ASSHOLIO
I have nothing better than "if you slip in your own piss, you must dismiss".
lifeshighway
You know how I know this story is bullshit? There are never donuts just laying around in a cop shop!
Jackoffasaurus
Hey, it's Lindsay Lohan's mom!
FAT TEDDY
I think he's pretty!
Is that the Forrest Gump Haircut?
ASSHOLIO
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Ted Wheeler was charged with Manufacturing a Controlled Substance in Ada county
Heather Coffey was arrested for Advertising and Possession in Montgomery county
After taking 1 look at Ted's face I realized something... If Ted manufactured Toyotas they'd be defective as fuck... Oh snap!
Arrested for advertising? Those commercials must have been terrible, they didn't even throw the guys who made the Free Credit Report.com commercials behind bars. Heather should have called in the "The World's Greatest Spokesperson in the World."
Ted is a user, not a manufacturer. Just look at him! Fight it Ted, Fight it!
Heather looks like the perfect billboard to advertize prostitution and crack. Nothing says "Let's get high and screw in a pile of our own vomit" like this picture.
Ted doesn't look like he could manufacture a Lincoln Log home.
ASSHOLIO
I giving Heather the OJ Simpson Least Enthused Mug Shot Award!
Purple-Sticky-Tree-Hugger
DAMN IT TED!!! I own a camry!
FAT TEDDY
She should be on a poster for Trojan condoms! If the image of her ugly mug doesn't make you wrap your willy, then nothing will.
Anonymous
Lesson number two Ted: don't get high on your own supply
Purple-Sticky-Tree-Hugger
Could she be the booty Shawn was looking for ?
Woodsterman
I think I'd have a hard time snorting or smoking anything this guy made. I'd rather eat a meatloaf made by a retard!
THENEWGUY
Impressive that she is even standing. Whatever she was advertising must not have involved standing upright.
lifeshighway
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Ace Springer was arrested for Possession Of Marijuana, and Resisting Arrest Without Violence (obstruction) in Pinellas county
Shawn Hunter was charged with Failure to Appear in Hernando county
Julius Cabrera was charged with Loitering And Prowling in Pinellas county
Santa Claus just got busted for possession of pot, does this mean there'll be no Christmas buds this year?
Alas, the hunter shall now become the hunted!
Julius was busted peeking in his neighbor's tool-shed, according to the police report Julius has the phrase "Trust No Hoe" tattooed on his left arm.
Now THAT is one “Happy Pappy!” The only thing that could make him happier is if he was holding a cool, refreshing PBR in his other hand…
Julius is confident that his court-appointed lawyer will get him out of this mess. After reading one law book, Julius is confident that one cannot “loiter AND Prowl”. One can loiter. One can prowl. But hanging around causing a nuisance, WHILE trying to be quiet and sneaky doesn’t work well together. Julius has seen the TV show “Boston Legal”, he knows his court-appointed attorney will be victorious!
Dr Spliffington
Oh Boy .... BOOTY SEASON !!!!!
Woodsterman
I caught my hoe foolin' around with my rake, the offspring were abominations.
ASS
The man's been after St. Nick for years, I can't believe it took them this long to catch up with him. At least it's his off-season.
ASS
That hairdo is frightfully close to a mullet. Give him 25 to life. Or a haircut.
innominatus
Julius has a point, it's physically impossible to loiter and prowl, why not just accuse him of shucking and jiving?
HARDCOCK
Somebody better bail his ass out, I can't take another Christmas without weed.
HookahNation
It's sad, that he's gotta hunt the booty,instead of it coming willingly. Surprised his charge was only failure to appear then.
thinkinfyou
Julius looks like a reincarnated Jesus... A gay, Puerto Rican, reincarnated Jesus. Was Elton John Right?
ASSHOLIO
Ace, this man was born to be a poker player.
FAT TEDDY
You are Hilarious FS; "In the slammer, every season is Booty Season"
hee hee.
Amusing Bunni
THENEWGUY
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Mario Perezlopez was charged with Battery -Touch or Strike in Palm Beach county
Paul Broadnax was arrested for Obstructing Or Opposing An Officer Without Violence in Hillsborough county
Carolyn Johnson was charged with Loitering To Engage in Prostitution in Montgomery county
"It was never easy for me. I was born a poor amish child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, churnin' butter and buildin' furniture down in Pennsylvania Dutch country."
I’m with Carolyn on this one; how do you get arrested for loitering to engage in prostitution? You are either engaged in prostitution or you are not. Was she topless or bottomless holding a sign saying “Sniffs = 1 for a dollar”? Basically, she was just standing there for longer than most, and Habeeb from the Quikie-Mart wanted her gone. Fight it Carolyn! Fight it!
Mario had heard the stories, listened to the rumors, but never quite believed that he would be branded with the mark of Zorro. He will think twice before bitch-slapping his baby’s mamma again.
is it Prostitution if your taking IOU's?
No you fool, it's a "Z" for Zorro!!!
lotgk
Paul was doing a great job blening in, that is until Brother Jacob told him it was time to raise the barn, and Paul went "whoot whoot" and raised the roof.
ASSHOLIO
I think the law is kind of fuzzy on this, but isn't sniffing totally legal? And oh, does the john get to sniff her? Or does she sniff him? And how is this in anyway pleasurable for either? But I guess if it's just a buck why not try it?
ASS
Being branded with a "Z" in prison is better than being branded with an "F".
Woodsterman (Odie)
I know exactly what Paul was thinking, Weird Al made Amish life look cool... I almost joined myself.
FAT TEDDY
Hey! That bitch charged me $2 for a sniff !
Pool Boy
What a shame, this guy was so good in Saved by the bell...
LITTLEORALANNIE
NoNameGiven
You know the economy is bad when hookers are taking IOUs.
ASSHOLIO
No way, the bandage is way cooler then some paisley ass dew rag.
THENEWGUY
What that shit needs is some Jheri curl
THENEWGUY
FAT TEDDY
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James Hodges was arrested for Driving on a Canceled, Suspended, or Revoked License in Montgomery county
Paul Sword was charged with Assault (Domestic) and Battery in Ada county
We finally have the evidence we need to prove the greys are here, and are using our women for breading purposes!
Notice, they have the same fu-man-chu!
Now I cann't say for sure, but I bet if you open up the grey's mouth you'll find he has a grill too!
James’ license was suspended because he refused to pay a parking ticket for staying 16 minutes in a 15 minute unloading zone. His superior intellect held in his massive round head tells him that he was correct and the officer was wrong. He will defy this law and drive his car wherever he pleases. James, if you are going to get all “Malcolm X” on us, pick something more meaningful than parking violations.
Listen Paul, if you tell your overweight biker girlfriend that she looks and smells like a pig, you have to be prepared for the consequences. Next time, stick and move….. stick and move... Have you learned nothing from the Rocky movies?
Photo Comment!
ASSHOLIO
And run like a chicken, too.
Snarky Basterd
Wow, did you take that picture of the grey yourself? It's so lifelike!
LITTLEORALANNIE
See that is what happens when you have a stache, nasty stuff gets stuck in it.
lifeshighway
All aliens have grills, that's who the black people steal all the cool fads from, then the whites, asians, and mexicans steal it from the blacks. Then it has to wait like 15 to 20 years before it becomes cool again.
FAT TEDDY
Stick with me Paul, I'll have ya eatin' thunder and crappin' lightning!
Jackoffasaurus
Hmm... I would have thought the fu-man-chu would have been grey.
ASS
Hahaha. At least he got his too.
PussDaddy
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Sherry Pope was arrested for Tresspassing in Maricopa county
Ginger McCormick was charged with Criminal Mischief in Multnomah county
Corey Williams was charged with Possession of a Controlled Substance With Intent to Sell in Pinellas county
Did you ever see a biker riding down the road with a shirt on that says something like "If your reading this, then the bitch fell off!" ? Well, now you know why he didn't stop to pick her ass up!
Ginger's life has been screwed up from the get-go... When a person is born covered in freckles, they are supposed to Have RED HAIR!
"I'm going to ask you one more time, and depending on the answer you give me somebody up in here is going to get cut! Now, would you like to purchase some crack?"
Sherry always wanted to know what it was like to stand in the hurricane ride for 3 straight hours at the Museum of Science and Industry. When the police arrived, they found Sherry in a wind-blown state of euphoria!
Ginger McCormick loved Koala bears so much that he had one of their paws tattooed on his face. It wasn’t until he tried to climb over the cage at the zoo to pet one that his family finally decided to get him an intervention. The zoo agreed to criminal mischief if he agreed to stay away from Karle Koala.
Better gas mileage without her!
THENEWGUY
And another thing, babies named Ginger ought not have penises!
ASSHOLIO
Damn that Lucky Eddie! The nerve! Selling Corey a bag of fish scales without his knowledge. At the same time, Corey should have had his suspicions when the bag smelled like dead fish.
ASS
I'd hate to have to brush that out.
LITTLEORALANNIE
What a loser... They aren't even real bears!
THENEWGUY
I don't want to get cut, but I don't want any crack either, so I hope the answer your looking for is no???
FAT TEDDY
There is probably a dozen Haitians lost in that mess!
ASSHOLIO
Can you say... Albino Ginger?
ASS
I'm too scared to answer!
LITTLEORALANNIE
Did he leave her because of the drag created by the hair?
FAT TEDDY
Did Karle Koala give him the hickies too?
Jackoffasaurus